Difficulty

I'm feeling quite frustrated at the moment. I was doing the usual skype date with Mo when he told me some news. Bless that big, hairy man of mine, I love him to death. However, one source of... eh, I guess I would word it as 'tension', is our backgrounds. Mo grew up in Sudan. His father is Sudanese and a practicing muslim, his mother is filipino and converted to join his father. Both my parents come from the Protestant American middle class, our great grandparents having made the journey over from Europe way back when. Mo and I are both non-religious. We don't feel it is necessary to define ourselves and how we act by a religion. I'd much rather figure out how to be a decent human being through just that, being human. It's said that "With God, anything is possible." I think the correct way of wording that is "With People, anything is possible."

To get back on track, I was reminded of the difficulties that come from having relatives of a conservative nature. Mo's parents are coming over from Sudan for his graduation in May. It is exciting. After two years I finally get to meet the folks. Since Mo is graduating, other members are coming over a.k.a. his aunts. Here comes the point of complication, I live with Mo and his brother. More accurately, I rent out an apartment with Mo and his brother. My name is on the lease. I work hard to cover my share of the rent. So this isn't to be confused with me mooching or having "moved-in". It's great, we live well together. I mean sometimes I want to destroy his brother, but on the whole it is a peaceful living environment.

So let's sum up what we have so far, shall we?

Conservative relatives coming to visit.

Their son/nephew lives with a girl out of wedlock.

Difficulties ensue. His parents gave the okay for this living arrangement, as did my parents. It was financially the best choice because the apartment is cheap. Hurray wonderful, great.... hmmm... not so great when they ask me to hide my things and pretend I don't live in my own home when the aunties come over. It is the "my own home" thing that bothers me the most. I love my parents, and I love where I grew up. However, that apartment has become my home. For clarification, I NO LONGER LIVE WITH MY PARENTS. I can't just skip over there for the day... it would take a while to skip there. I wouldn't recommend it seeing that they live three hours away (by car, incase you were wondering). So, what am I to do when I'm expected to not "actually" live where I live? There is no where else in the District of Columbia for me to go. They wont be staying with us but they will be over here for a while. What happens when they decide to randomly come calling one day. Am I supposed to hide all my stuff with a snap of a finger and dive out the window ( I live on the 6th floor)? I can't help but be reminded of that scene from Matilda when they have to hide all the happy things in the classroom behind flaps and doors before that wretched principle comes stomping in.

Is my defensiveness a bit too strong? Perhaps. It just rubs me the wrong way. When you get down to it, being told that you have to pretend your situation is different from what it actually is, in this sense, hits on the idea that what you are doing is fundamentally wrong. His parents say okay, you can live together because of the circumstances (but its wrong). Therefore it must be hidden instead of standing up to the overbearing, conservative opinions of others. Mo stood up for me. He got into a row with his mom over it. At the same time, I don't want relations between him and his mother to be rocky because of me. I made it clear that if it comes to hiding that I live there, fine. Hide my shit... or try to at least. My stuff is everywhere, after all, it is my home. But don't expect me to be there, "just visiting" when they call. I refuse to sit on my own couch, smile, and say "Oh yes, I'm still living in a dorm." No thanks, I'll be out reading a book in the park or drinking coffee. Maybe even both.